parenting techniques

i'm dr. ari brown and i've got some greatdiscipline tips to share with you today. many methods work and different ones work for differentsituations. the key is to be consistent, follow through once you've set up those rules andlimits, show respect and remain calm. remember, you are your child's role model and he's watchingyou to see how you react when you're angry or frustrated. so, here are the four tips.tip number one: teach natural consequences. it is much more meaningful for a child tosee what happens when he makes the bad choice in a safe way, of course, than to choose apunishment that has absolutely nothing to do with the poor behavior. so, for instance,if your toddler throws her spaghetti at the wall, she is telling you she is done eatingand should be excused from the table. next

time, she'll remember to eat dinner and notplay with her food. tip number two: ignore certain attention-seeking behaviors. i knowit can be hard to disengage but if it isn't a serious offense, just ignore it. kids willdo many things in the name of getting your attention. if your child doesn't get a riseout of you, she will probably stop doing it. so here's an example. your child loves tointerrupt you when you talk on the phone. the solution? ignore it, or else you havetaught her that that tactic works and she will continue to do it again and again. evenbetter, prepare for attention-seeking behavior and prevent it. set your kitchen timer andtell her you'll be able to talk to her once the timer goes off. tip number three: givechoices. kids want to be in charge. a child

is more likely to cooperate if he feels likehe is involved in a decision-making process. just make sure those options you give areall things that you want to do anyway and be careful not to give too many options becausethat can be overwhelming. so, when you're trying to get out the door in the morning,say, which do you want to do first? do you want to put on your shoes or put on your coat?tip number four: use time-out. yes, it really works if it's done correctly and consistently.the whole point of time out is time away from you. your child can be moved to a safe placeor you can move away from your child and that can do wonders to keep you calm and in control.the whole point is, losing attention from you is the most effective way to get yourmessage across. time-out is reserved for more

serious offenses that put the child or somebodyelse in danger. so, for instance, if your

child takes a bite out of her friend's arm,she goes directly to time-out city. just remember, you won't see immediate success with any ofthese techniques. your child will test you 20 times to be sure you really meant whatyou said or be sure he can't get away with things on your watch. be patient and be consistentand you will see results.