parenting skills

i'm dr. ari brown. today, let's about discipline.what is it and why is it important? discipline literally means to teach. from discipline,your child learns self-control and with that comes self-confidence and self-esteem. positivediscipline means that you show respect, you listen, you reward good behavior, and youremind your child that you love her while you teach her right from wrong. this is incontrast to negative discipline like spanking, which teaches children fear and leads to poorself-esteem. many child-rearing issues fall into the discipline category, whether it'steaching your child to share a toy, go to bed when he's supposed to, or eat somethingother than chicken nuggets, it's all about having a plan, setting limits, and then followingthrough with it. being a parent is not a popular

job. you're not your child's buddy and beingan effective parent sometimes means that your child will not like the decisions or rulesyou make to guide her in the right direction or protect her. and that's okay. your childwill still love you and even thank you years later--okay, many years later--for helpingher be the best person she can be. if you let your toddler call the shots, it will hauntyou as your child gets older and the stakes are higher. this week, it's demanding candyat the grocery store check-out line, later it's going to a party with underage drinkingor drug use. keep that in mind. there are eight key points to discipline. be a goodrole model. your kids are watching you and your actions speak louder than words. be consistent.whatever rule or limit you set, you must stick

to it. don't back down to avoid conflict.be calm and brief. the less you react, yell or lecture, the better. make your commentshort and sweet. be quick. don't wait to discipline your child even if you are out in public.he won't remember why he's being disciplined if you wait until later. pick your battles.decide which behaviors are serious enough to discipline and decide which ones to justignore. be realistic. how long is your child really willing to endure running errands oryou taking a phone call? if you have reasonable expectations, your child will act out less.catch your child being good. your child craves your attention. kids prefer positive attentionlike hugs and praise, but they'll also accept negative attention like you screaming andyelling. so if you praise your child for cleaning

up his toys, you'll see more of that behaviorand he won't have to resort to naughty behaviors to get you to notice him. finally, remindyour child that you love her. the behavior

is bad but never tell a child that she isbad. after you're done with your discipline moment, say something nice and give her ahug. it shows that you're ready to move on and not dwell on the issue. just remember,your child's behavior won't change immediately. you are planting the seeds of discipline rightnow. don't expect a tree to grow overnight.