parenting twins

in this week’s on my shelf, i highlightsome of my favorite poets, a book full of practices that help eliminate stress and worry,the challenge of parenting twins, how reading widely helps make me a better writer, anda very entertaining audio book series. i’ve mentioned before that i really enjoyreading poetry. i read a whole lot of it. poetry is the thing that i carry with me tothe grocery store, so i can pull it out and read a poem while i’m standing in line ata grocery store. it’s what i read when i’m walking to pick my boys up at school. it’swhat i read when i’m waiting for my boys to finish cleaning up so we can have lunchtogether. i love it because it’s short, and you can read a poem in less than fiveminutes, which is important when you’re

a parent. poets have a way of writing about the worldthat is deep and lovely and true. they help me to see things from another perspective.they bring clarity to life. they show the relationships between things i never noticedbefore. they are masters of language. and because of all this, not only do i try toread at least one poem a day, usually more, but i recommend that everyone read at leasta poem a day. poetry gets down deep. it changes our hearts so we can see all of the beautyaround us, even in the smallest of things. if you want to learn how to appreciate everysingle moment of life, pick up some poetry. some of my favorite poets include the classicslike w.h. auden and rainer maria rilke and

john keats. but i’ve also discovered somereally talented contemporary poets like mary oliver and edward hirsch and morri creech.some of my favorite books by these poets include a thousand mornings, by mary oliver; the livingfire, by edward hirsch and gabriel, also by edward hirsch. they write in very differentways, but they are phenomenal at their craft. i recently finished a book called 52 smallthings you can do for your mind, by brett blumenthal. i’ve been on a journey for acouple of years to understand the inner workings of the mind, because i tend to not only worrya whole lot of about pretty much everything, but i also feel stressed a whole lot of thetime, which some might say is because i have six boys. so i picked up this book in my locallibrary because it looked interesting, and

while most of the practices that blumenthaltalks about were things i already do on a regular basis, i did learn a few things, likehow research shows that people who spend their money on things like experiences are muchhappier than people who spend their money on things and how rewarding ourselves forreally hard things, which i rarely ever do, helps us try to do hard things more consistently.the book got me thinking about a lot of different places in my life where i know the right thingto do, but i just haven’t made the effort. so i was spurred into action, and i thinkany person who reads it would feel the same. it’s hard to believe that four years agoi gave birth to twins. it’s been a bit of a whirlwind. most of parenting is, but i thinkit’s even more so for parents of twins.

you know, raising a kid is hard. and thenyou add two at a time, and it’s nearly impossible. my twins are probably the most difficult parentingchallenge i have ever been given, and my husband and i have fought our way through these firstfour years to try to get out on the other side in a place that is healthy and kind andwell bonded to our twins. when they were born, it was really difficult to see them as twopeople, because they were a unit. they’re still a unit. but we’re trying more andmore to see them as individuals, because even though they’re identical, they have theirown personalities and quirks and feelings. i don’t have this parentings twins thingfigured out, even though i’m four years in. i don’t think i’ll ever have it figuredout, mostly because parenting is hard. but

i try my best and i love. and that’s enough. people sometimes ask me why i make so muchtime to read. and it’s true. i read a whole lot. it’s not easy, because i’m the motherof six boys. but i read to my kids, and i read books we all enjoy. i listen to audiobooks on trips. i sit in the darkness of my room, when kids are already in bed and myhusband doesn’t need me for anything, and i make my way through the pile of books onmy nightstand. i read, because it makes me a better writer. but i also read because it’senjoyable. it engages my mind and makes me think and opens new worlds for me. readingis almost like meditation. i get lost in story, and i learn to tell better stories, but ialso learn to hear other’s stories, which,

in a weird way, makes me a better listenerof other people. there are so many benefits to reading—not just for children, but forus, as adults. and, as a writer, i should be reading all the time—because i can goto school and study all the right methods and gain all the knowledge i could possiblywant, but until i am immersing myself in reading, until i am exploring subjects that are foreignto me, until i am opening up new worlds at the turn of a page, i will not reach my truepotential as a writer. it sounds crazy. you think that to become a better writer, youjust have to write more. but i’ve found that to become a better writer, i have toread more. reading helps me practice writing in a more effective way. and when i’m practicingwriting the correct way, that’s when i get

to improve. that’s where reading gets me. i’ve been listening to the hero’s guideto storming the castle, by christopher healy, on audiobook. this story, which is hilariouslywritten, is read by narrator bronson pinchot, and it is one of the best audiobooks, besidesharry potter, that i’ve ever listened to. pinchot reads all of the characters in differentvoices and uses amazing accents to differentiate them, and it’s just a riot to listen tothis book. reading it is entertaining enough, but pinchot provides an theatrical qualityto the words that bring the story alive. i find myself laughing out loud in some places.it’s a very entertaining listen, as is the first book in the series, the hero’s guideto saving your kingdom.

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look at life and projects i’m working onand the current novel of the year. if you have any questions about writing or booksor how i manage to run a writing career with six little ones, leave them in the comments,and i’ll get to them in future episodes. for more on my shelf, subscribe to my youtubechannel. thanks for watching.