parenting models

framing is a fairly new field of study incommunications and part of logic and debate. sadly if you aren't aware of how framing works,no logical argument you make will penetrate the population's consciousness. george lakeoffis one of the forerunners in the study of framing, and its use of metaphores in thepublic psyche. a frame is a metaphore filled with nuance and language that is intricatelyingrained into the population. because each idea is so well understood by the populous,you can discuss complex concepts in very simple words and even sound bytes and people willget what you are saying. it can be used to teach or convey a message or sadly framescan be used to spread a false narrative and lead people, without making logical fallaciesof your own, to encourage them to make the

logical fallacies for you. many times alsothey will use analogies to narrow the debate and then make people forget that they arejust analogies, and make logical sounding arguments even when the limits of the analogy'susefulness is broken. an example he uses in his book, “don't thinkabout an elephant” which is a book discussing why the democrats kept losing to the republicansuntil 2006 even when they had more facts on their side than the gop. i don't want to getinto a partisan discussion here or sound biased, but as the gop in the last decade has becomethe religious right, most of my readers(viewers) will be either of liberal or libertarian persuasion.the examples he uses involve the home and the parenting models in the minds of all ofus. that seems to be a narrative that is extremely

well-known, well-understood, emotional, nuance.there are two different models of parenting in the american narrative, there is the patriarchalfamily model, that involves a strong, protecting, but punishing and absolute father, and thereis the nurturing parent model, where the two main founding ideals of this parent is empathyand responsibility, and making the tough decisions to be the better adult. it is quit probablethat america's two party system as opposed to multiparty system helps the gop to controlthe frame even more. all of us are well familiar with both modelsthanks to movies and literature. none of us have to have it explained to us, so they canskip it and just use the language we know. it is the fact that it is so ingrained intous that we don't realize what is happening

when the frame being used on us. it narrowsthe field of focus of reality and without you realizing it, you've limited your optionsin the argument to a small range of argument choices, so you of course chose the logicalof the two ideas, without realizing that there is much more to the argument than you cangrasp, but learning that would not work in a sound byte but more of an hour long lecture.its this groundwork in the mind that is why scientists only now are beginning to realizethat they need to create a narrative for why science is real and important for the averageperson, which is something they've kind of neglected for the past 20 years and are nowfacing angry backlash, and the resurgence of pseudoscience, creationism, and new phenomenaof climate change denialism. being taught

a false version of evolution and creationism,i of course chose creationism, i had no idea the topic was so much broader and i had muchmore options than what i was told. the patriarchal frame has been part of theamerican narrative from its conception. however with the rise of science it began to losecredibility among the more liberal religious until child psychologist dr. james dobsongave it sciency sounding legitimacy. his book “dare to discipline” resurrects the biblicalnarrative that the father is the strong head of the household, the wife and children aresubmissive, he is firm and his word is law. the mindset stems from the biblical conceptthat all children begin as evil and it takes firm painful discipline to beat the evil outof them. spanking, pain and punishment is

considered tough love. god sending peopleto hell and letting them suffer is viewed as love by this model. if you give them aninch, or let them them get away with anything, then you have spoiled them. if you give themthings they didn't earn then they are spoiled. as soon as they are adults(assuming they aren'tdaughters and then as soon as they marry), you are no longer responsible for them, andif they are good disciplined people, they will be prosperous in life. if they get anythingthey didn't earn they will not only be lazy but also evil and sinners because the sinwasn't beaten out of them enough. dobson either missed the the class explainingthe point of peer reviewed research in psychology, or in more likelihood, had his beliefs andwent to get his degree to give his own beliefs

legitimacy. either way he is one of the worstchild psychologists out there because nothing he proposes is backed up by modern peer reviewedpsychology. if you are only aware of the patriarchal model, this makes logical sense. sadly therehave also been a lot of bad parenting books based on fluff bunny ideas, only loosely backedby science that give the nurturing parent model a bad name. people follow dobson withall of the best intentions, they truly do love their kids, and they see how bad parentswith no discipline raise their kids so they don't want their child to end up like that.they are completely unaware that there are scientific alternatives to spanking, of courseit involves changing and preparing yourself before you have the children or during childraising which is hard because child rearing

is so distracting.the nurturing parent model involves the narrative the a child starts out of good, but need gentleguidance and education. the child is a blank slate and a sponge ready to absorb and befilled with new ideas. each child is different and the parent has to take the responsibilityto learn child psychology tactics as well as child specific tactics. the parents musthave empathy and be in touch with the child's emotions and help to cultivate curiosity,generosity, love of learning and empathy leading by example. the use of knowledge as opposedto force as a way to lead. a parent must be the grown up and take the responsibility tobe the adult and the peacemaker, or the protector when the sitution deems itself necessary sothe child can learn by example. the patriarchal

model doesn't require leading by example,though it's recommended. its more of a side recommendation and not essential so its easyfor the strong parent to forget and just be heavy handed and use the do what i say notwhat i do mentality. when you don't know this method, or have only seen bad versions ofthis style of parenting, just like with bad watered down quote mined versions of evolutionit sounds like the biblical idea is much better. sadly because the nurturing parent when characaturizedcan be framed as weak and naã¯ve or “feminine”, and the nurturing parent requires learningand tactics, it can be used to create and propagate the anti-intellectualism that permeatesour society, even though the nurturing parent requires making better informed, nuanced andflexible decisions instead of a tough one

sized fits all hammer punishment. the nurturingparent takes a lot more work and is more difficult and stronger emotionally. but thinking ishard and wimpy so just be a tough badsass, loner, distant father figure because it appearseasier and more logical compared to the oversimplified nurturing parent narrative.the gop grabbed this frame when the religious institutions decided to support the republicanparty. they used the language of the religious right and got a lot of power out of it. theycalled smaller nations “emerging nations” indicating they were children that neededstrong father parenting forcing their morals on their children. they also created the narrativethat severe punishment is needed as opposed to thoughtful preventative educational measureslike what the nurturing parent calls for.

punishment and brute force are the only wayas opposed to last resort which the nurturing parent cinsiders a necessary tool but onlywhen all other options are off the table. the fatherly system believes that the punishmentsystem is the first line of defense and is completely and only vaguely aware of othermethods of parenting. the fatherly system is also why gay marriage is so vilified bythe right, unmanly parent equals spoiling

child which prevents evil from being beatenout of them which leads to break down of society. the nurturing parenting is genderless andis completely compatible with a gay parent. empathy and responsibility are completelygenderless, they are just what it means to be a good parent.