parenting journey

remember congruent communicationis - physiology 55% and that is your body language, tonality is 38% and that is yourvocal behaviour and words is 7% and that's the choice of words. have fun playing thematching game with your children and your loved ones. "say what you mean, and mean whatyou say". all you have to do is match your intention and your behaviour.today let's talk about how you can use positive language to improve your child's behaviourand boost his or her confidence. no, stop that! don't run! don't hit! don'tdrop it! no talking! do they sound familiar?did you know that the words you use can change your brain? according to the ground-breakingresearch by the neuroscientist, andrew newberg

m.d. & mark robert waldman, there's one wordin particular that actually imparts and disrupts the normal functioning of the human brain.and the word is .... "n...o...no!" if you vocalise your negativity with evena slight frown when you say "no, more stress chemicals will be released, not only in yourbrain, but in the listener as well. now, doesn't that inspire you to be careful with the languageyou use when speaking with children. so what can we say instead? before we dive into it,let's do a little exercise to remind ourselves why it is so important to use positive languageor instructions. now, if i were to say, oh ! "don't think ofa blue elephant!" what's on your mind now?most of us are now are already probably seeing

a blue elephants. oh ... wait a minute, don'tthink of a blue elephant wearing a pink polka dotted skirt! that's right. it is really hardfor us not to see the blue elephant wearing a pink polka dotted skirt! giggle! that'sright! it's really hard for us not to see the blue elephant wearing a pink polka dottedskirt in our mind right now isn't it? well, this is about the unconscious mind's inabilityto process negatives. now can you imagine how confusing and frustrating some very commonlyinstructions can seem to young children. "don't run" and you see children running instead.sohow can we use positive language or give positive instructions? all you have to do is ' statewhat you want your child to do. not what you don't want him/her to do. here's an example,instead of saying "don't run" you might want

to say " please walk", instead of saying "don'thit" , you can possibly say " please be gentle" , instead of saying "don't touch" perharpyou want to say "hands off" instead of saying "don't shout" maybe you can say " speak softly"this will give your child a clearer mental image of what you want them to do or whatthey are supposed to do. and the unconscious mind works really well with clear direct instructions.and the best part is , it will help build positive relationship with parents, teachers,and all other caregivers. providing a strong foundation for a successful, happy, and confidentchild. remember it maybe hard at first because we are creatures of habit. however if youfocus on conscious use of positive language,

you might find that your child will have fewertantrums and less challenging behaviours.

have fun nuturing the habit of you using positivelanguage with your child. remember , "state what you want your child to do, not what youdon't want him/her to do!" happy parenting! stay positive!