parenting groups

the two musts of parenting are; always tolabel irresponsibility as irresponsibility and going hand in hand with that, always beinga good role model for our kids. now, always labeling irresponsibility as irresponsibilityis really, really important. kids will ask parents questions that they know the answerto. and the main reason they ask those questions is because they want to test to see if theirparents are going to give them responsible answers. if the parents give an answer thatisn't responsible, then the kid can't really trust that asking a question or presentinga scenario where they don't know the answer, then they trust that they are going to geta straight answer from their parents. now, the way to always give good responsible answerscomes in either two forms; either you can

actually label it period, that is just notthe way to do it. or as i used to do when i worked with street kids and they tell meabout the latest slick hist they did from some store is make some off hand comment like,i am sure i still have my jail pass so i can visit you the next time you are not quietso slick. now, the second thing that comes, goes right along with this is always actingresponsibly and acting as a good role model for your kid. the must is always being a goodrole model for your teens. now, do as i say and not as i do, doesn't work anything andit certainly doesn't work with your teens. it always have to be walking the walk as wellas talking the talk. and teens look at things in black and white, there are no gray's. so,sitting by and watching tv, watching a football

game and knocking down a six pack of beer,even though you are not going to drive for the rest of the night, a teen sees you dothat and figures knocking down a six pack of beer is fine only they are going to doit while they are driving. you smoking a joint socially at a cocktail party, teens will thenextrapolate into smoking joints is good, even during school. so it is real important thatyou step back sort of look at yourself in what you are doing from up above and say isthis in black and white what i want my teen to be doing? if it is not, then don't do it.if my father could choke down liver every wednesday night while we were growing up sowe wouldn't grow up with a liver bias. you can also obstane from your goodies for thesake of your kids. i am jason wittman, thank

you very much for being my guest here at expertvillage as i told you about some of my techniques for being a very, very good parent. if youwould like more information about what i do

as a coach, coaching parents of teenagers,you can find me at theparentscoach.com. i have a weekly free parenting round table,on the telephone i do parenting groups and i coach individuals, i also have a wonderfulblog where you can more information of the kind you heard today. thanks for being here.