parenting counts

soon. | [music] from babies to teenagers if you have a parenting-related question, we want to hear it. elane ducharme is a clinical psychologist to answer your questions. so nice to have you here.

thank you. it's fun to be here. as a parent i love the advice you give and it's a treat for viewers to get their questions answered on the air. we start with awe facebook thing you want to do is start slowly.

with a one yoor old it's not on a one-year-old it's not like you can talk to them about the change. if you say we need to get the child to bed earlier and cutting back on the nap so they are more tired. sometimes you have to do that

when you are away or people are switching shifts of work. doing it slowly but being consistent and getting everybody on board so you are not switching every night. it is true you are not always going to stick to the routine because life is crazy and might

be out one night. is it true sleep begets sleep? kids are sleep deprived it is harder to get them to bed. with the holiday season parents keep kids up late and we have cranky kids and it's important to get the naps in during the holiday.

when they are over tire today may be too hard to get to sleep. exactly. we have an e-mail from that is such an interesting question because honestly i think it comes from day one. it depends on your definition of discipline.

it is not just i'm going to spaimpg spank you or be forceful. it can be loving and setting up structure. with you newborns you will not set the same time, but will try to have a routine you are setting up and that becomes

a form of discipline. just trying to do things in a routine way. having a bath route before bed. as you set is that up you, or if you have your bath in the morning. youy i think from day one it is helpful to have is a sense.

that doesn't always work. with a newborn one of the kids up all night or somebody is sick and it's difficult. when you try you can move forward and as they get older being structured all kids do well with structure. and parents do as well.

absolutely. we think of structure as part of discipline we for good shape. you can't spoil a baby. well, at what point are they no longer a baby? at what point can you spoil them? you can you spoil them if all

you ever do is the minute they start to i cry jump in and start feeding them. you really want to be sure just because they cry you are not shoving a bottle in their mouth and you let them learn to self is-soothe. we have a live caller.

can you hear us? gen you i think. oh, gen. hi, jen. we lost her. hopeful hopefulliy you are watching. at what age do you talk to your kids about sex.

her son is 8. sex is not always just about the actual act of sex there is sexuality. i like to encourage about how you treat each other. when your child is little and they are seeing mom and dad hugging or being appropriately

affectionate in front of them you are teaching them about intimacy. you have to ask what you are asking? some are saying when you where did i come from, they want to know if i came from cleveland or new york.

others want to know more details. you have to go with the kid and watch their face and talk to them and see and say do you have anything else you want to know? it's based on the child's age and development. by niern, 10 you need to talk to

them and young girls are getting their machine central cycle -- menstrual cycles and it can be scary. we have more to ask and we savings appeal when you visit mymassappeal.com, later today. y we are back with dr. ducharme to answer your

parenting questions. we have a caller on the line, paul. hi, paul. yes, i can. how are you? good morning, ashley. the doctor is here to answer your question.

doctor, when people come over and my god daughter is transitioning to know american culture and i was trying to explain to her you can't let people occupy your mind. is there any realize you have to accept people's individuality to get along.

i'm having trouble hearing. comeing from a different culture and relinlious beliefs and -- relinlious beliefs and help her be more open minds. y she is coming from a different culture and hopey she can be within this culture and more comfortable and

relaxed? [inaudible] it is hard to hear you. the best i can say, we have very rich cultures and one of the things about christmas, it's about family and getting along and caring about each other. it's not about the gifts.

this could be a wonderful opportunity to have is this person maybe share part of her culture. are there foods she would like to make? you i wasn't quite clear is it a she? niece.

maybe she could participate in preparing some dishes that are traditional for her and involve in the cooking and planning so she can feel at home and take on some of the newer things and come up with a way of sharing. that's what the holidays should

be about, sharing and caring about each other. paul, hopefully that answered your question, it was hard to hear you, but hopefully you got that. it was hard to hear. have a wonderful holiday. another question from

a viewer, is it okay to give something to sweet to your son or daughter who is under a year old. that is a good question. kids tend to go more for sweets. we are not feeding them that many foods when they are under a year.

it's in the second half of the year some don't bother feeding a lot of footed until they are older. if you don't have to give them sweets, don't, it develops a sweet tooth. if you can focus vegetables and those flavors.

a lot of kids really go for the peaches and the applesauce and those tend to be sweet. i would be be be cautious about giving anything that is too, off and on sweet. by their first birth day. cake. a taste of birthday caulk,

which is -- cake, which is good. if we can avoid loading them up on sweets nothing will happen terrible if they have is a taste of something, but stay away as much as you can. very good. we have another caller, sam? -- sandra.

hi, sandra. hello. how can we help you? my question is a have two adult -- i have two adult children, one adult grandchild and one teenage grandchild and they i all depend -- they all depend on me from time to time

and i'm retired and disabled and it's putting me into great depression and aimptioniet. how do i handle it? many are not as independent as we would like to be. i have a woman in my office and her daughter called for more money and she said i'm sorry i

can't do it. really take away the gift giving and say this holiday is about helping others and suggest the family help out at a food shelter or something of that nature. it allows people to realize more the value of life.

i do think part of it is will be hard if you can't say no. set boundaries and it's a hard thing to do and it might be helpful for you to talk to a psychologist in helping set limits. you will see so much more empowered.

it is a much better feeling when you don't feel you are getting taken certainly of. something a professional would help. i a spend a lot of time helping people set boundarys. thank you, doctor and thank you sandra and all our viewers.

happy holidays, sandra. we'll be back in a bit to answer more questions. you still have time, give us a call. we are back with dr. elane ducharme answering your parenting questions live on the air.

wihave chris on the -- we have chris on the line. hi, chris. hello, how are you you? fine, thanks. what is your question today? my daughter usually gets good grades and brought home i a couple of bad grades on her

report card and i am wondering how should i motivate her to go back to her usual back to getting good grades without punishing her, i guess. how old is she? 12. you know, one of the things to be aware of is kids this age

if she has been doing well, find out what is going on emotionally for her. you a lot of kids, you know, sud eply -- first of all she is 12 and a lot of girls at that age run into social problems and struggle with that and they don't want to talk about it.

the rather than punish her, you i would be curious to talk to her about what is going on in school and talk to her teachers and find out if she is acting out in school. is she over tired? is she going through developmental changes that are

causing her not to focus school? if she has a history of doing well, try to be nurturing and you want to find out if there is a new subject in schoolie -- she school she is struggling with. punishing is not a good plan to improve grades. is she gets caught up in the

social scene and not getting enough sleep? those are good questions to deal with the issues from a really good parenting perspective than just being punitive. okay, thank you. you're welcome. have a great day.

thank you for calling in. it sounds sometimes it could be you have to look deeper and see if something else is causing them to change. you really do. if somebody is going along and never done well in school, that's different, looking for

motivation techniques. if somebody does well and you see a change there can be all kinds of things going on. in middle school, social issues are real bad. i had a family saying their daughter changed dramatically and found out -- she was own 6,

there you there were things that the school informed her about. we have another question from a viewer. they want to know when you are introducing a new baby into the home, how should you prepare the older child? that's a great question.

when i had my second child you i thought i was on top of this okay and did everything i could and after the baby was born when she was about four or five weeks my you would oldest daughter who had been potty trained stood in the middle of the hallway, peed on the floor and said mommy i

can do everything the baby can do, can we send her back now? i don't know there is an answer that is foolproof. you can help prepare and let them know there will be a new baby and you want them to help, but really finding some practice time to do -- extra time just to

do something with the child than the baby. that you get jealous no matter how hard we try to prepare, they will feel left out. get i a baby-sitter for the new one and give the baby to the

husband and do something with your child.

i'm sure our viewers are very appreciative for everything you